Women & Self-Care Enchantments: “Being a Shakti Sage & Integrity”!

“Don’t compromise yourself. You are all you’ve got.” 
—Janis Joplin

We tend, through life, to be confronted with many ethical dilemmas where we need to draw on our personal codes and guiding principles. These dilemmas may feel small or large, depending on the circumstance. Part of “life coaching” is helping folks develop clarity about their personal guiding principles and values. I often suggest that clients ask themselves the following question; “can you live with yourself, with your integrity intact, if you make that decision”?

I found the following definitions of the word “integrity” to be very interesting (from: http://www.merriamwebster.com/dictionary/integrity)
1 : firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values : incorruptibility 
2 : an unimpaired condition : soundness 
3 : the quality or state of being complete or undivided : completeness

Most folks I talk with are familiar with the first definition, however, it is the third definition that I find fascinating, especially if one applies this to people not cell membranes! In ancient traditions one often hears about each person’s aura or “egg” of energy. In psychological and mind/body terms, one talks about “containment” and the idea that the whole is greater than the sum of it’s parts.

What if we placed the emphasis on first “getting whole” and then making decisions; would that automatically mean we make integral decisions?

Now I know this discussion may seem airy fairy to some, yet, it is a serious question. If we design a practice and actions so that we have a “felt experience” of being whole, complete and contained, with all parts of us, mind, body, spirit and emotions connecting and integrated, then, I would say, we can’t help but function with integrity.

In our Western culture, we are encouraged to use primarily our mind in making decisions. What if we also asked “what would my heart say about this”, or ”how does gut feel” with that decision?

In previous postings about being a shakti sage, I have discussed a variety of qualities from wisdom to power, from courage to gentleness; with incorporating the word “integrity” we add in both meanings of the word and draw on the concept of wholeness or completeness as well as a personal code of ethics.

So, you see, being a Shakti Sage with integrity may encompass so much more than just being true to oneself. Janis Joplin has half the equation! Imagine a world where we all make decisions with both our head and our hearts for the purposes of deeper connection!

This week, luscious ladies, play around with the following questions

“Self-care Enchantments”:
1. When have you experienced a challenge to your personal code of ethics? How did you respond?

2. Do you or how do you experience a sense of wholeness or containment?

3. This week, when making a decision, run it through your head, your heart and your gut and see if the process feels different.

Please share your comments!

Namaste,

Zoey – founding hippy at hippy grandma

Zoey Ryan
life, business & leadership coach for women
inspiration * clarity * wisdom * enchantment
www.shaktisage.com
604-323-3700

“Coaching for your heart & soul and the heart & soul of your business”

Are you a heart-centered and “soulful shopper”? Know of a new baby arriving? Keep the heart, soul & hippy love flowing for generations with purchases from Hippy Grandma: an Eco-Boutique selling fair trade, earth friendly treasures.

Through your purchases, you help local artisans, hand-crafting grandmas on a pension, women’s fair trade co-ops and programs designed to support vulnerable mamas & babies. Please share Hippy Grandma widely and wildly with your soul sisters. www.hippygrandma.com

Enjoy this wonderful article by one of our shakti sage life coaches, Shannon, who specializes in working with “mystic mamas”!
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“Mystic Mama’s” Infusion of Inspiration and Delight for Conscious Parents…

“Young children naturally live in the moment, not by the clock, so subjecting them to time pressure usually leads to discord.” –Scott Noelle

These are wise words….☺

It’s September and along with shorter days and leaves on the ground comes the seemingly inevitable return to the land of “schedules”. Now, many of us love the return to structure; however, it can be especially challenging to remain conscious as parents when we’re rushing to get the kids out the door, hurrying to make it to piano lessons or struggling to get the munchkins in bed on time.

Let’s face it, rushing around and engaging in constant “struggles” can be just plain exhausting. When we’re exhausted it is easy to revert to un-conscious patterns and ways of being.

How can we honour the natural rhythms of our children (and ourselves) while operating in the “artificial” world of schedules? Hmmmm….

Well, one simple thing we can do is stop and breathe. No matter where we are we always have the ability to access this natural stress reliever. It’s amazing how a few deep belly breaths can transform a mood or situation. Ahhhhh…. (We like to do this as a family when our energy gets a bit off. The kids love it. It’s especially nice when coupled with a peace hug! ☺)

Another thing we may do is remember that no matter how hectic, scattered and chaotic things appear, we always have a choice. Always. We can choose to respond or react in any situation. Something that many people find helpful is to recall an affirmation or mantra during particularly frantic times. Simply repeating something like, “this too shall pass” or “I am peace” in our minds can often assist in bringing us back to centre so that we may greet our children with patience and compassion.

Finally, we may choose to work together to build more flexibility and fluidity into our lives. That might mean allowing for more “free” time during the day or changing the way we approach time commitments and obligations.

This week, remain consciously aware of being “in the now” with your children. Breathe together. Look at one another when you talk. Light a candle. Hug. How does it feel to be present together?

May you enjoy every moment!

Namaste,

Shannon
Mystic Mama, Life Coach, Advocate of Love

I hope you enjoyed this inspiring article!

Zoey

Zoey Ryan

life, business & leadership coach for women
inspiration * clarity * wisdom * enchantment
www.shaktisage.com
604-323-3700

“Coaching for your heart & soul and the heart & soul of your business”

Are you a heart-centered and “soulful shopper”? Know of a new baby arriving? Keep the heart, soul & hippy love flowing for generations with purchases from Hippy Grandma: an Eco-Boutique selling fair trade, earth friendly treasures.

Through your purchases, you help local artisans, hand-crafting grandmas on a pension, women’s fair trade co-ops and programs designed to support vulnerable mamas & babies. Please share Hippy Grandma widely and wildly with your soul sisters. www.hippygrandma.com

Coffee shops are ubiquitous here in Vancouver. We are after all just 200 km north of the birthplace of Starbucks. The good news among all this caffeine and biscotti is that there is a locally owned and operated coffee company here that is making a huge difference to the local community.

Blenz Coffee’s first store was opened in 1992 on Vancouver’s famous Robson Street. Since then Blenz has grown to have more than 85 stores in BC and internationally. This coffee retailer has also taken giving back to a whole new level.

Blenz Cares is a program developed by the founders of Blenz Coffee that is so elegant and simple, we can’t believe someone didn’t think of it years ago. It works like this: when you order a bag of coffee or tea from the Blenz Cares web site, you set up the charity of your choice (or choose one from a list on the site). Each month a cheque for the net proceeds from all your purchases is sent to your chosen charity. So, for example, if you buy one bag of Machu Picchu whole beans for $16, $7.28 will be sent to the charity of your choice. It’s that simple.

Some of the charities who presently benefit from this program are the TB Vets, Canuck Place Children’s Hospital, the Arthritis Society, the Alzheimer’s Society, and Rotary International. Imagine purchasing coffee for your office knowing that each cup you drink gives back to those in need. For more info please visit blenzcares.com.

namaste,

Zoey

Zoey Ryan
life & business coach for women
inspiration * clarity * wisdom * enchantment
www.shaktisage.com
604-323-3700

“Coaching for your heart & soul & the heart and soul of your business.”

“Women and Being a Fiery Shakti Sage”

During the past 18 years, our family and myself personally have gone through many “ups and downs, backwards and sideways”, including more than a few major traumas. We have become intimately aware of the sadness of depression, the restlessness of anxiety, the pain of losing a loved one, the devastation of addictions and…the healing fire of pain, anger and hurt transmuted into unconditional love and forgiveness.

If one “googles” ‘goddess of fire”, we read about Pele, the Hawaiian goddess of fire, who is both a creator and destroyer; about Arani, the Hindu goddess of fire and sexual energy; about Freya and Aodh, Sekhmet and Vesta. In every ancient tradition, there is a goddess of fire.

One of of my designed “shakti sage” sub-qualities of power is fire. Consider these phrases: the fire of burning desire, a heart on fire, “the most powerful force on earth is a soul on fire”. Your “fire” is your internal life force.

Fire can also show up as anger, or powerful “aggress energy” (as my friend Gina Dingwell refers to it). Anger can be amazingly energizing and cleansing if it is “purified” through a soft and loving heart, filled with forgiveness.

The qualities of wisdom, unconditional love, integrity and gentleness balance the amazing power of our internal fire and I find with many of my coaching clients, during a coaching conversation about fire, it helps to also bring in the balancing qualities. Keep this in mind as you consider your internal fire!

Ayn Rand from Atlas Shrugged says

“Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swaps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible.. it’s yours.”

Wonderful luscious fiery shakti sages, don’t let your fire go out, this week, ponder and play with the idea of you as a fiery woman.

Self-care Enchantments:
1. Can you feel your internal fire?

2. What does it feel like, what does it taste like, what colour is it?

3. How has your internal fire “shown up” in your life?

Add your comments in to the powblog http://thepowblog.com.

Namaste,

Zoey

Zoey Ryan

life & business coach for women

inspiration * clarity * wisdom * enchantment

http://shaktisage.com

604-323-3700
“Coaching for your heart & soul & the heart and soul of your business”

“Women, Courage and Being a Shakti Sage”

I heard back from many of you that you are having an edgy time with the word power. Women’s and girl’s empowerment workshops are flourishing, with great results, yet I am hearing back that the notion of “power with” and “coming from one’s place of power” can easily feel difficult or harsh or uncomfortable when doing this in relationships.

So, here is a review of my designed “shakti sage” qualities. Foundational shakti sage qualities are power and wisdom, infused with the following secondary qualities: courage, fire, boldness in one’s uniqueness, balanced by unconditional love, integrity and gentleness. I believe that being powerful requires exhibiting on-going gentle courage in daily life.

This week, I would like to discuss courage further, not the kind of hero courage that is exhibited with dramatic feats but a kind of quiet and sustainable courage. Laurel Thatcher Ulrich, who coined the phrase, “well behaved women seldom make history”, was in fact speaking about well behaved normal women who in the course of their regular daily, non extraordinary lives, exhibit exceptional gentle courage by refusing to be pulled into the cultural drift of complacency.

This may show up as refusing to participate in gossip; as refusing to participate in racist, ageist or sexist jokes, this may show up as refusing to be seduced into relating to one another on the basis of looks, clothes, weight, victimhood, social status or heaven forbid what husbands do (if you have them).

It takes courage and skill to see a good friend and acknowledge her for who she is, not her looks, her new haircut, her new car or clothes. It also takes courage and skill to accept that acknowledgement. You might be asking, well, what is wrong with paying a compliment and it is a great question. I would say, nothing is wrong with paying a compliment, but when one’s life foundation is based on the external, rather than the internal and this becomes a life pattern, that becomes a problem.

Play around with this during the week, you wonderful luscious shakti sages.

Self-care Enchantments:

1. Become an observer of your interactions and conversations, how do you participate or not in overt or subtle gossip, “social statusing”, “I’m better than youing”?

2. What would it look like for you to exhibit gentle courage in your life? Add your comments in to the powblog.

3. Which woman/women do you know who have showed amazing gentle courage?

Namaste,

Zoey

Zoey Ryan
life & business coach for women
inspiration * clarity * wisdom * enchantment
http://zoeyryan.com
604-323-3700
“Coaching for your heart & soul & the heart and soul of your business”

“A Woman’s Way of Knowing: Intuition”

After having a wonderful month about mothers, grandmas and daughters, we are going back to an exploration of being a “shakti sage.”

From my perspective, being a sage includes: wisdom, intuition and gentleness, amoungst other qualities.

Intuition is an interesting one to ponder. Much has been written about “women’s intuition”, sometimes from the perspective of appreciation and depth, yet occasionally with a slightly minimizing and patronizing tone, discounting the richness and wisdom inherent in “women’s intuition.” One can sub-categorize this intuition as a “mother’s way of knowing”; “a nurse’s way of knowing”; “a healer’s way of knowing” etc.

Personally, I have experienced a little bit of trickiness when tapping into and planning to take action based on my intuition. This is also a “trickiness” that has been expressed by a number of my coaching clients. Since our egos/pain bodies/gremlins (one can use a variety of words to describe this type “energy field”) love attachment, continuity, the status quo, high drama, judgments etc; the trickiness becomes an interesting dialogue with ourselves to figure out if what we are “hearing” is our intuition or our ego. When faced with this dialogue, which can feel abit like a committee meeting with in us, the following phrase can be very helpful; “the body never lies”.

So, this week, tap into your intuition, your inner way of knowing. Be attentive to those other voices that may come in. Using your body as an indicator of intuition, where in your body does you intuition reside?

Intuition tends to be soft, gentle, neutral, flowing and centered in your body.

Ego/pain body/gremlin messages tend to feel strident, kind of whiny, negative and scattered.

Play around with this during the week, luscious shakti sages.

Self-care Enchantments:

1. Think of a time that you experienced very strong intuition about something, and acted on it.

2. Think of a time that your ego, or pain body or gremlin was loud and insistent. For more information on “pain body’s” read any of Eckhart Tolle’s work like “The Power of Now”, or “A New Earth”.

3. Consider how intuition and ego feel different for you and learn how to tell the difference.

Namaste,

Zoey

Zoey Ryan
shakti sage life & business coaching for women
inspiration * clarity * wisdom * enchantment
www.zoeyryan.com
604-323-3700
“Coaching for your heart & soul & the heart and soul of your business”

“Mothers, Grandmothers & Daughters”

The month of May contains some significant events, “Beltane” and “Mothers Day”, and so the theme for this month is celebrating and honouring the creative power of women and moms and daughters of all kinds. I intend to go deeper into the sage part of shakti sage and discuss sageness, wisdom, intuition and a women’s way of knowing within subsequent e-bulletins. Today though, I want to also write about being a “dog mom” and how animals can be a very significant part of our self-care and loving-kindness practice. Dogs practice amazing self-care!

We picked up a new addition to our family a few weeks ago, Teagan Olive (after Olive in “Little Miss Sunshine”) Luna (it was a full moon the day we picked her up) Ryan is now 13 weeks old and I think we miss-named her. She should have been named Teagan Marley Ryan! It is easy to forget how much work a new puppy is. I feel fortunate that there are five of us in the house to help care for her.

My heart is wide open and vulnerable this morning as we are also saying goodbye to Tasha Cubby Ryan, our 13 year old dog. Tasha has been very ill and as I write this, we are waiting for the vet’s office to open, as it seems that it is Tasha’s time to pass on. It strikes me as being very profound and full of awe that we as a family are participating in witnessing the beginning of a life and the ending of a life at a time that there are so many other family transitions. One daughter is leaving for New Zealand for a work exchange year, another daughter is courageously facing a big challenge, and then will join her sister in New Zealand. Our third daughter is almost finished high school and is excitedly looking forward to her future. It feels like a time of huge change and transition.

So, as a mom of both human daughters and dog daughters, I am treasuring this snapshot in time. This little piece of time today, when we are all still together. We have the chance to hug Tasha and tell her good bye. We can giggle together when Teagan (aka Marley) pulls the toilet paper all over the house. We can be excited together about travel adventures and journalism school and bungy jumping in New Zealand. We can have a group hug and tell our daughters how much we love them and what cool kids we think they are. We can remember 13 years of Tasha and her little habits and the way she followed “her mom” every where. We can talk about our moms, who have passed on and describe memories from our childhoods. We can cherish each other and think of animal moms and people moms and single moms, mothers of the earth, and double moms and the love that a mother and child share.

Being a mom has brought me the greatest joy of my life, has cracked me wide open, taught me patience and humility and has forced me to experience a much wider range of emotions. As moms, we nurture, we love, we care for, we are wise and strong and soft and gentle.

Let’s celebrate moms of all kinds and ponder the following questions.

1. Write and/or think about your mom, what did you learn, what are you still learning from her? How has she influenced you?
2. Write and/or think about your grandma…, what has your grandma left you as a family legacy?
3. Honour the mother in you, honour that caring, nurturing, loving, feminine part of you, that “Great Mother” that is a part of us all.

P.S.
Just got back from the vet’s where we all shared in saying goodbye to our darling Tasha. Please forgive any typos or grammatical errors for this week, as I am proofing my writing with tears streaming down my cheeks.

Namaste,

Zoey

Zoey Ryan
founding hippy at hippy grandma

life & business coach for women

inspiration * clarity * wisdom * enchantment
www.zoeyryan.com
Coaching for your heart & soul and the heart & soul of your business!

604-323-3700


Keep the hippy love flowing with purchases from Hippy Grandma: an Eco-Boutique selling fair trade, earth friendly treasures.


“Power With” and A Partnership Model

Are you powerful; are you a powerful woman? I think all of you are.

Perhaps the better question is “how are you a powerful woman”?

Many women I talk with as a coach, have almost an aversion to saying “I am a powerful woman”. We, the collective we has been conditioned to equate power with “having power over”, with autocratic, unilateral decision making, with paternalism and a “dominator model”. We, the collective we, have been conditioned to “be nice” not powerful.

As I said last week, when I talk about you being a woman of power, the kind of power I am talking about is “power with”, “power and connection with your internal wisdom”, “personal power”, “your personal place of power”, you know the place where you feel strong and happy and together and in alignment and in balance. This is your personal center, your personal still point, the place where you feel your vital force, your chi. This is the place where you have dominion over yourself and your life. This is part of your “shakti-ness”.

In relationships, it is “power with” or a “partnership model”. It’s you and your women friends planning a surprise party for another friend, it is two women coming together to form a business partnership either formal or informal. It’s using a child-centered model in the family. In “power with” relationships, you are drawing on the “collective power” of more than one person. Other words for “power with” are collaboration, co-creation and “win-win”.

Many women struggle with describing themselves as powerful, yet I see examples of powerful women all over the world. There is the mom who calmly and gently advocates for her child within the school system, there is the female entrepreneur who is so passionate about her business that she patiently and persistently moves forward toward her dreams. There is the female artist who is amazing in her creative work. These are all examples of powerful women!

An additional “power” thread in the brightly tapestry of your life, is the “divine feminine creative power” quality of the “shakti”. Shakti power or “power with” is not ego-based power, it is “divine feminine” power with a deep spiritual grounding in gaia and in the “heavens”.

So this week, lovely shakti sages, the self-care enchantments build on the idea of you being a powerful woman.

Finish the following sentences:

1. A powerful woman is….

2. A powerful woman is not….

3. Think about, describe, and write down how it feels to “stand in your personal power center”. Ask and answer “how am I a powerful woman”.

Namaste,

Zoey

Zoey Ryan

life & business coach for women

inspiration * clarity * wisdom * enchantment
www.zoeyryan.com

604-323-3700

”Coaching for your heart & soul & the heart and soul of your business”


Re- Introducing Shakti Sage

“What we have not known is how to begin from our own centre, how to begin from our own experience, how to make ourselves as women the subjects of the act of knowing”