We’ve noticed several articles and mentions lately of a relatively new phenomenon – that of mothers in a family reaching the age of menopause at exactly the same time their children are reaching puberty. Canada’s Globe and Mail notes that women of the Baby Boomer generation are the first to delay childbearing en masse and that menopausal moms with teenagers entering puberty may become the norm.

At SheZoom.com, Julie Ross, a parenting expert, recommends that the best way to effectively manage this simmering hormonal cauldron of parent and child is to remember take care of ourselves. By ensuring that we are getting enough exercise and building rejuvenating down-time into our days we’ll not only be refueling ourselves so that we are able to stay centered when we’re dealing with a hormonal teenager, but we will be modeling self-care for our daughters and sons. If we believe and act in a way that shows that we value ourselves, we will raise children who value themselves.

And don’t forget to laugh! If your household happens to be caught in a simultaneous-menopause-and-puberty scuffle the good news is that you’re not alone. Women are even creating art and comedy around the subject.

namaste,

Zoey

Zoey Ryan
life & business coach for women
inspiration * clarity * wisdom * enchantment
www.shaktisage.com
604-323-3700

“Coaching for your heart & soul & the heart and soul of your business.”

“Women, Courage and Being a Shakti Sage”

I heard back from many of you that you are having an edgy time with the word power. Women’s and girl’s empowerment workshops are flourishing, with great results, yet I am hearing back that the notion of “power with” and “coming from one’s place of power” can easily feel difficult or harsh or uncomfortable when doing this in relationships.

So, here is a review of my designed “shakti sage” qualities. Foundational shakti sage qualities are power and wisdom, infused with the following secondary qualities: courage, fire, boldness in one’s uniqueness, balanced by unconditional love, integrity and gentleness. I believe that being powerful requires exhibiting on-going gentle courage in daily life.

This week, I would like to discuss courage further, not the kind of hero courage that is exhibited with dramatic feats but a kind of quiet and sustainable courage. Laurel Thatcher Ulrich, who coined the phrase, “well behaved women seldom make history”, was in fact speaking about well behaved normal women who in the course of their regular daily, non extraordinary lives, exhibit exceptional gentle courage by refusing to be pulled into the cultural drift of complacency.

This may show up as refusing to participate in gossip; as refusing to participate in racist, ageist or sexist jokes, this may show up as refusing to be seduced into relating to one another on the basis of looks, clothes, weight, victimhood, social status or heaven forbid what husbands do (if you have them).

It takes courage and skill to see a good friend and acknowledge her for who she is, not her looks, her new haircut, her new car or clothes. It also takes courage and skill to accept that acknowledgement. You might be asking, well, what is wrong with paying a compliment and it is a great question. I would say, nothing is wrong with paying a compliment, but when one’s life foundation is based on the external, rather than the internal and this becomes a life pattern, that becomes a problem.

Play around with this during the week, you wonderful luscious shakti sages.

Self-care Enchantments:

1. Become an observer of your interactions and conversations, how do you participate or not in overt or subtle gossip, “social statusing”, “I’m better than youing”?

2. What would it look like for you to exhibit gentle courage in your life? Add your comments in to the powblog.

3. Which woman/women do you know who have showed amazing gentle courage?

Namaste,

Zoey

Zoey Ryan
life & business coach for women
inspiration * clarity * wisdom * enchantment
http://zoeyryan.com
604-323-3700
“Coaching for your heart & soul & the heart and soul of your business”

“Mothers, Grandmothers & Daughters”

The month of May contains some significant events, “Beltane” and “Mothers Day”, and so the theme for this month is celebrating and honouring the creative power of women and moms and daughters of all kinds. I intend to go deeper into the sage part of shakti sage and discuss sageness, wisdom, intuition and a women’s way of knowing within subsequent e-bulletins. Today though, I want to also write about being a “dog mom” and how animals can be a very significant part of our self-care and loving-kindness practice. Dogs practice amazing self-care!

We picked up a new addition to our family a few weeks ago, Teagan Olive (after Olive in “Little Miss Sunshine”) Luna (it was a full moon the day we picked her up) Ryan is now 13 weeks old and I think we miss-named her. She should have been named Teagan Marley Ryan! It is easy to forget how much work a new puppy is. I feel fortunate that there are five of us in the house to help care for her.

My heart is wide open and vulnerable this morning as we are also saying goodbye to Tasha Cubby Ryan, our 13 year old dog. Tasha has been very ill and as I write this, we are waiting for the vet’s office to open, as it seems that it is Tasha’s time to pass on. It strikes me as being very profound and full of awe that we as a family are participating in witnessing the beginning of a life and the ending of a life at a time that there are so many other family transitions. One daughter is leaving for New Zealand for a work exchange year, another daughter is courageously facing a big challenge, and then will join her sister in New Zealand. Our third daughter is almost finished high school and is excitedly looking forward to her future. It feels like a time of huge change and transition.

So, as a mom of both human daughters and dog daughters, I am treasuring this snapshot in time. This little piece of time today, when we are all still together. We have the chance to hug Tasha and tell her good bye. We can giggle together when Teagan (aka Marley) pulls the toilet paper all over the house. We can be excited together about travel adventures and journalism school and bungy jumping in New Zealand. We can have a group hug and tell our daughters how much we love them and what cool kids we think they are. We can remember 13 years of Tasha and her little habits and the way she followed “her mom” every where. We can talk about our moms, who have passed on and describe memories from our childhoods. We can cherish each other and think of animal moms and people moms and single moms, mothers of the earth, and double moms and the love that a mother and child share.

Being a mom has brought me the greatest joy of my life, has cracked me wide open, taught me patience and humility and has forced me to experience a much wider range of emotions. As moms, we nurture, we love, we care for, we are wise and strong and soft and gentle.

Let’s celebrate moms of all kinds and ponder the following questions.

1. Write and/or think about your mom, what did you learn, what are you still learning from her? How has she influenced you?
2. Write and/or think about your grandma…, what has your grandma left you as a family legacy?
3. Honour the mother in you, honour that caring, nurturing, loving, feminine part of you, that “Great Mother” that is a part of us all.

P.S.
Just got back from the vet’s where we all shared in saying goodbye to our darling Tasha. Please forgive any typos or grammatical errors for this week, as I am proofing my writing with tears streaming down my cheeks.

Namaste,

Zoey

Zoey Ryan
founding hippy at hippy grandma

life & business coach for women

inspiration * clarity * wisdom * enchantment
www.zoeyryan.com
Coaching for your heart & soul and the heart & soul of your business!

604-323-3700


Keep the hippy love flowing with purchases from Hippy Grandma: an Eco-Boutique selling fair trade, earth friendly treasures.


“Power With” and A Partnership Model

Are you powerful; are you a powerful woman? I think all of you are.

Perhaps the better question is “how are you a powerful woman”?

Many women I talk with as a coach, have almost an aversion to saying “I am a powerful woman”. We, the collective we has been conditioned to equate power with “having power over”, with autocratic, unilateral decision making, with paternalism and a “dominator model”. We, the collective we, have been conditioned to “be nice” not powerful.

As I said last week, when I talk about you being a woman of power, the kind of power I am talking about is “power with”, “power and connection with your internal wisdom”, “personal power”, “your personal place of power”, you know the place where you feel strong and happy and together and in alignment and in balance. This is your personal center, your personal still point, the place where you feel your vital force, your chi. This is the place where you have dominion over yourself and your life. This is part of your “shakti-ness”.

In relationships, it is “power with” or a “partnership model”. It’s you and your women friends planning a surprise party for another friend, it is two women coming together to form a business partnership either formal or informal. It’s using a child-centered model in the family. In “power with” relationships, you are drawing on the “collective power” of more than one person. Other words for “power with” are collaboration, co-creation and “win-win”.

Many women struggle with describing themselves as powerful, yet I see examples of powerful women all over the world. There is the mom who calmly and gently advocates for her child within the school system, there is the female entrepreneur who is so passionate about her business that she patiently and persistently moves forward toward her dreams. There is the female artist who is amazing in her creative work. These are all examples of powerful women!

An additional “power” thread in the brightly tapestry of your life, is the “divine feminine creative power” quality of the “shakti”. Shakti power or “power with” is not ego-based power, it is “divine feminine” power with a deep spiritual grounding in gaia and in the “heavens”.

So this week, lovely shakti sages, the self-care enchantments build on the idea of you being a powerful woman.

Finish the following sentences:

1. A powerful woman is….

2. A powerful woman is not….

3. Think about, describe, and write down how it feels to “stand in your personal power center”. Ask and answer “how am I a powerful woman”.

Namaste,

Zoey

Zoey Ryan

life & business coach for women

inspiration * clarity * wisdom * enchantment
www.zoeyryan.com

604-323-3700

”Coaching for your heart & soul & the heart and soul of your business”


Inrageous/Outrageous Self-Care Enchantments for This Week

With interesting synchronistic timing, just after sending out the last POW I received an email from a dear friend containing children’s messages to God.  I am including a sampling below as reminders to us all of the purity and simplicity of childlike sacredness:

~*~*~*~*

* Dear God,

I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church.  Is this OK?

Neil

* Dear God,

In bible times, did they really talk that fancy?

Jennifer

* Dear God,

I think about you sometimes, even when I’m not praying.

Elliot

* Dear God,

I bet it is very hard to you to love all of everybody in the whole world.  There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it!

Nan

* Dear God,

Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter – cause there is nothing good in there now.

Ginny

~*~*~*~*

Your self care enchantments for this week are about simplicity & sacredness, holidays and festivals.

Self Care Enchantments for the week:

1.  In this upcoming season of religious and spiritual festivals, how can you bring sacred simplicity into your life?

2.  Do one thing this week that scares you!

3.  Consider making a donation to your charity of choice this week.

“The Angels were all singing out of tune, and hoarse with having little else to do, excepting to wind up the sun and moon or curb a runaway young star or two.”  -  Lord Byron

We would love to hear about your experience with these enchantments.  Please share about your learning and exploration with these enchantments on www.thepowblog.com in the comments section!

namaste,

Zoey

Zoey Ryan
coach . catalyst . shakti sage
life & business coach for women
“Coaching for your heart & soul and the heart & soul of your business”
www.positivelyoutrageouswomen.com
www.entrepreneurialsuperstars.com
604-323-3700

Support fair trade gift giving at Hippy Grandma: hippy love for generations – an online eco-boutique selling fair trade & earth friendly treasures for your grandbabies, their mamas and you! www.hippygrandma.com

We have been exploring the concept of life patterns and the notion of paradox, yin and yang.  I attended a wonderful Diwali celebration last night and there were lights and candles, beautiful bright sparkly colours, exotic aromas and wonderful people.  My daughter and I got mehendi henna designs on our hands and I was adorned with traditional Diwali makeup including a vibrant blue and pink eyeshadow and a bindi  spot on my third eye.

 

It is a powerful time of the year with Diwali, Halloween, Dia de los Muertos, and All Saints Day.  It seems to me, that what these celebrations highlight is the juxtaposition of light and dark, life and death.

 

We do not talk about death easily, yet it is so much a part of our experience of life.  Our community recently lost a vibrant young man in a tragic car accident.  We drive by the accident site almost daily and we and our daughters know the family.  The sharp point of the pain is really sharp at the moment for our community and while there is a memorial at the accident site and there will be a service, it seems “too small”.  It seems like we should be gathering closer and talking more and doing more for the family.  It feels like the whole community should be wailing and keening and sobbing, yet life goes on.

 

It is a very powerful practice to consider both life and death; light and dark.  Your enchantments for this week deeply honour this notion and in the spirit of shared intention, I offer the following “enchantments”.

 

Self Care Enchantments for the week:

 

1.  Remember and honour those who have already passed on.  If you choose to, learn about the Dia de los Muertos (day of the dead) Festival as celebrated in Mexico and adopt one of the rituals.

 

2.  In your personal life, what patterns are asking to be let go of or are ready to “die”?

 

3.  Dressing up in costume can be incredibly fun and liberating even if it is simply wearing a wild scarf or bindi spot, so, go for it, dress up in a costume and balance the dark with the light, bright and sparkly.

 

“The true harvest of my life is intangible – a little star dust caught, a portion of the rainbow I have clutched” – Henry David Thoreau

 

We would love to hear about your experience with these enchantments.  Please share about your learning and exploration with these enchantments in the comments section!

 

namaste,

 

Zoey

 

Zoey Ryan

coach . catalyst . shakti sage

life & business coach for women

“Coaching for your heart & soul and the heart & soul of your business”

www.positivelyoutrageouswomen.com

www.entrepreneurialsuperstars.com

604-323-3700

Support fair trade, earth friendly gift giving at Hippy Grandma: hippy love for generations – earth friendly treasures for your grandbabies, their mamas and you!

www.hippygrandma.com

I think that in North America, we have been taught to believe in the dream, you know the one about “life being happy, easy and if you just work hard enough, you can have everything you want”?  I haven’t lived in the East, however I have travelled to underdeveloped areas and from what I understand, in less developed areas, where people still live “closer to the land”, a deep understanding about the ups and downs of life is present in the cultural psyche.

 

Both my parents grew up on farms and during summer holidays I often spent time with my cousins and the farm animals.  I saw “farm life” in clear definition and remember in particular seeing how our food that is milk, beef and chicken got from the natural state to the plate.  On a farm, things are messy, smelly and real.  It is accepted that there is joy and suffering, good smells and bad smells, planting and harvesting.

 

We have been talking about a deeper exploration of one’s habitual patterns and default programs and playing out the concept of paradox.  As a continuation of this, how influenced do you feel you are or have been by your dominant socio cultural belief systems?  What do you believe about life?  Should you always be happy and life be easy?  What if all of us “made room” for or “created space” for,  the notion that pain and suffering are the natural counterpoints to joy and happiness.  When I start to explore this with coaching clients, what they often express is that welcoming pain and suffering creates a sense of melting and relaxation.  In fact, although it seems counterintuitive, they often say “ahhhh, I don’t have to try so hard to be happy.”

 

Your enchantments for this week continue in this theme and include some further questions and a fun art exercise.

 

Self Care Enchantments for the week:

 

1.  What is the “dream” that you are trying to live up to?  If you find this difficult to answer, try to gain a different perspective, perhaps imagine that you are a visitor from another culture and then ask the question again from an observer point of view.

 

2.  How much energy do you devote to “being happy” and living the dream.  How can you create more “spaciousness” in your life?

 

3.  Create an art doll that represents your “harvest” this fall.  Did you ever do this when you were a kid?  Maybe make a doll out of a pine cone or grass or old fabric?  You can add in glitter or crystals or other items to represent your life and its ups and downs this year.

 

“The true harvest of my life is intangible – a little star dust caught, a portion of the rainbow I have clutched” – Henry David Thoreau

 

We would love to hear about your experience with these enchantments.  Please share about your learning and exploration with these enchantments in the comments section!

 

namaste,

 

Zoey

 

Zoey Ryan

coach . catalyst . shakti sage

life & business coach for women

“Coaching for your heart & soul and the heart & soul of your business”

www.positivelyoutrageouswomen.com

www.entrepreneurialsuperstars.com

Support fair trade, earth friendly gift giving at Hippy Grandma: hippy love for generations – earth friendly treasures for your grandbabies, their mamas and you!

www.hippygrandma.com

604-323-3700

 

I have outgrown the phraseology “positively outrageous women”!  Since I have used this phrase as my website url for about five years, it may also have gotten stale.  The dilemma is that POW is a “brand” in our small local community and among my contacts.

My gut and heart say one thing and my head says another.

I find this process so interesting as I can not disconnect my business evolution from my chronological age.  In my 40’s I did feel outrageous in a positive way.  Now, in my 50’s, my entrepreneurial energy feels softer and gentler, yet has a strong and clear core.

I would love your thoughts and feedback on this issue.  Have you had a similar experience in your business?  What did you learn?  What do you think about my dilemma?

namaste,

Zoey

Zoey Ryan, PCC

life & buisness coach for women

“Coaching for your heart & soul and the heart and soul of your busness”

I connected with two remarkable women yesterday.  No, I can not make the claim to a personal relationship, yet I feel I know them well, through their actions and their words.
Gloria Steinem: Gloria appeared on Oprah yesterday and I was reminded of how she influenced my early twenties, when I subscribed to Ms. and engaged in lively discussions (sometimes debates) about women’s rights with my mostly male friends.  I was idealistic, hopeful and absolutely convinced that women would change the world.  I remain absolutely convinced that women will change the world, yet am puzzled by the timeline.  Seeing Gloria and listening to her words, reconnected me with my passion, committment and intention to participate with so many other women around the planet who are acting for social change.
Severn Cullis-Suzuki: I loved reading the article about Severn in our local paper this morning.  Living in Metro Vancouver, it feels like I watched Severn grow up and I like to think that I may have seen her in person many times over the years at Capers or Granville Island or the Folk Festival.  Severn jumped onto the world stage in 1992 when she and a group of Vancouver kids traveled to Brazil to attend the UN Earth Summit and she presented her plea to the delegates for them to “save the world”.  The video of this speech is still being widely circulated via “youtube”. Now grown and recently married, she is staying true to her roots through developing “roots” and community in Haida Gwaii.

In my opinion, these two women represent courage; integrity and transparency and stand as gently powerful and remarkable role models for women.

namaste,

Zoey

life & business coach for women

“coaching for your heart & soul”

www.positivelyoutrageouswomen.com

www.entrepreneurialsuperstars.com

Question of the week: what is your relationship to food?  Do you think of food as nourishing, do you have a love/hate relationship, does eating scare you, do you love food?

I grew up in a household where my mom (of German descent and who grew up in the Depression) loved to cook.  Not only did she love to cook but I figured out after she passed away, that one of the ways she showed us all love was with food.  We had alot of family feasts, usually Sunday at noon and for all the major religious holidays.  The rest of the time, I recall the food was basic and simple.  We seldom ate in restaurants or had “store bought” food.  While I would give anything now for mom’s homemade chocolate chip cookies, at the time, I felt embarassed to bring home made food to school for snacks.

I would say that I have had a conflicted relationship with food until my late twenties.  AT this time, instead of focusing my eating on how not to gain weight, I switched to making friends with my body and eating for health and nourishment.  It felt like a whole new world opened up!

I still “feast” for special occasions and sometimes feels like it would be easy to get pulled back into the love/hate thing with food, however most of the time my eating relationship feels balanced and nourishing.

namaste,

Zoey

Zoey Ryan

coach . catalyst . shakti sage

life & business coach for women

“Coaching for your heart & soul and the heart & soul of your business”

www.positivelyoutrageouswomen.com

Please feel free to share your comments!